12Steps on how to raise a Delinquent Child
1. Begin with infancy to give the child everything he wants. In this way he will grow up to believe the world owes him a living.
2. Quarrel frequently in the presence of your children. In this way they won’t be so shocked when the home is broken up later.
3. When he picks up bad words, laugh at him. This will make him think he’s cute.
4. Give the child all the spending money he wants. Never let him earn his own.
5. Never give him any spiritual training. Wait until he is twenty-one and then let "him decide for himself".
6. Satisfy his every craving for food, drink, and comfort. See that his every sensual desire is gratified.
7. Avoid the use of "wrong". He may develop a guilt complex. This will condition him to believe later, when he is arrested, that society is against him and he is being persecuted.
8. Let him read any printed material, and listen to any music he can get his hands on. Be careful that the silverware and drinking glasses are sterilized, but let his mind feast on garbage.
9. Pick up everything he leaves lying around. Do everything for him so that he will be experienced in throwing all responsibility on others.
10. When he gets into real trouble, apologize to yourself by saying, "I could never do anything with him."
11. Take his part against neighbors, teachers, and policemen. They are all prejudiced against your child.
12. Prepare for a life of grief. You will likely have it